August 20, 2012

August 18, 2012 - One Response

I am going to fall asleep in your bed before you get there. I will sleep so soundly that not even a jackhammer could wake me. Well guess what a jackhammer will be pounding and my shirtless arm will be around it. You will approach the bed and see me lying with the jackhammer and you will be too intimidated to try and wake me or unplug the jackhammer. You will back away theorizing. The jackhammer will be rattling the foundation of your home and I will appear angelic and peaceful and fulfilled. You will watch me and feel a steadily increasing panic. I will jostle in your bed and you will notice I am naked and fully erect. You will turn on the lights and say “hey what are you doing” but I will be unaffected. You will try to say another thing. “Excuse me this is my bed and you are asleep in it with a jackhammer but I gave no permission to do such a thing. I can call the police right now and have you arrested” but again I will make no sign of noticing you. The bedroom will be shaking violently on account of the jackhammer. You will gather your courage and shout “alright buddy you had your chance I’m calling the police” and you will shove your body out of the room in case I would be stirred awake by the threat. Two police officers will arrive and you will escort them to your bedroom. They will notice the severity of my blissful carelessness in regard to your property. They will point their firearms. “This is the police. Get up from the bed or we will have to use force.” You will ask them about the jackhammer and they will suggest unplugging it so you will scoot over to the electrical outlet beside the bed. You will look at the police for support and they will nod sternly. Caution will drip from your pores. You will reach out like a lost soul into new darkness. As your fingers reach the plug I will ejaculate rage. The police will stumble backwards with surprise and I will swat your hand away from the electrical outlet. I will face you and whispershout “you are the most pathetic living thing in the history of all nature” and in one commanding swoop I will mount the jackhammer and it will rocket through your home in the direction of the moon and in its wake it will leave a bunch of ashes and remains from when I burned your childhood home to the ground laughing.